A Handful of Sand
At the gate, a crowd of tired and frustrated people gathered in front of the podium. Our flight had already been delayed for several hours. The gate agent, dressed in her navy-blue uniform, announced over the intercom that our flight was now cancelled. A collective groan filled the air. Passengers formed a line to talk with her about a new flight path. Taking my bag from the ground by my feet, I joined them in waiting. By the time I reached the front, she seemed drained and beaten.
“We can put you through to Philly tonight,” she said. “The next flight to San Francisco won’t leave until the morning, so the airline will put you up in an airport hotel.”
I withheld my annoyance at the situation and thanked her as I took the paper boarding pass. She faced the wrath of every would-be passenger that night. I didn’t want to trample her with the rest of the herd. With some time to kill before my new flight, I headed to a nearby bar for one last drink before takeoff.
Laying my luggage by my feet, I took a seat at the tall stool and ordered a Moscow mule. The television played an NFL game from two years ago. I pulled out my phone and opened Instagram.
Years had passed since I had moved from Philadelphia to the Bay Area. This would be my first time back since leaving. In the search bar, I typed out Chloe’s name, pulling up her profile. We had broken up within the first week of my moving. Our plans for a long-distance relationship were canceled once the reality of my leaving set in for her. We broke up over FaceTime before I had finished unpacking. It took an entire fall of stoned bike rides to move on.
The vodka burned the back of my throat as I sipped my cocktail through a black paper straw. Quickly finishing my drink, I paid my tab and walked to my new gate. The flight to Philadelphia had already begun to board. This new gate agent smiled at me as she scanned my boarding pass.
“Enjoy your flight,” she said as she handed it back to me. Once situated in my seat, I opened Instagram again. I sent Chloe a direct message that read, “Hi :) I hope you’re doing well. I’m coming into town on a layover tonight. Would love to grab a drink and catch up if you’re free?”
She read it immediately. Several minutes passed without a reply. I felt like a loser until three dots appeared indicating she was typing. A nervous excitement filled my chest. Suddenly, a message arrived that read, “Hi! It’s good to hear from you. I actually am free tonight and would love to meet up.”
The pilots echoed through the cabin over the intercom. The plane pulled away from the gate. I told Chloe that I would message her when I land and switched my phone into airplane mode. Finding sleep shortly after takeoff, I dreamed of the time Chloe and I went to the beach just before my move.
'‘I’ll follow you anywhere,” she said as we sat in the sand and watched the sun set over the ocean. The soft breeze rustled her dark brown hair. Her eyes pleaded as they met mine. I took a handful of sand and watched as it slipped through my fingers. The rattle of the plane landing shook me awake.
“Welcome to Philadelphia,” said the pilot. “Where the local time is 9:52.” The runway lights glowed against the night sky as we approached the terminal. Turning on my phone, I messaged Chloe. We made plans to meet at a bar near the airport. After a quick stop at the hotel, I called an Uber to meet her.
Our eyes met as soon as I entered the dimly lit room. The blue and purple lights illuminated her face as she smiled at me. She looked the same as she did in my dream, as though no time had passed. We hugged. I didn’t want to let go.
“It’s good to see you,” she said.
We sat across from each other at a high-top table. She had ordered me a Yuengling, knowing that it’s my favorite beer. I took a large gulp. “God, that’s good,” I said, placing the beer down onto a coaster.
“Can you even get Yuengling out there?” she asked.
“No. The furthest west they go is Texas. I’ve looked it up a few times.”
“Of course you have. Well, all the more reason to move back.”
I smiled at her. “So, how are things? Did you end up finding a head teaching job?”
Her eyes lit up. “I did! I’ve been teaching second grade for the last few years now.”
“That’s awesome! Do you love it?”
“It’s everything I’ve ever wanted.”
“That’s amazing.” I smiled softly. “I’m happy for you.”
“Thank you. How about you? Are you still doing the whole wine thing?”
“Yeah, I am. It’s been quite the adventure. Although I do wish a few things were different.”
“Well, I’m glad you found what you were looking for.”
A moment of silence followed. What was I looking for?
“Yeah,” I finally said. “Thank you.”
We finished our beers. “Do you want another round?” she asked.
I didn’t answer right away. “I probably shouldn’t. I leave on the first flight out.”
When my Uber arrived, we shared a long hug on the sidewalk. I watched her standing on the curb as the car pulled away. My shoulders felt heavy as I saw her, once again, slip through my fingers.
